I am feeling sad....very very...sad....

hi folks ..it has been a long time ...9 days to be exact.. i am around but so out of ideas and not having that urge to do any posting. So many things has been happening for the past 9 days...i was in KL last weekend....my mom was hospitalised for food poisioning , initially...and that triggered the blood pressure and glucose level to went up breaking the ceiling. Thank Allah she is discharged after 5 days and recovering well.

Last monday, my boss's mother passed away after a few months battle against cancer. I went to visit the jenazah at my boss's place in Kemaman with all the finance gals and other colleagues. Personally, I think it is kind of expected to him but still it is not something easy to swallow.

He came back to work today telling me his sorrow and how he misses her mom. His emotion was overwhelming when he told me details of the last moment before the late mother released her final breathe..I was simply sharing my ears...it is really heartbreaking...and all this while I thought it would easier for people at his age to go thru this than someone younger...i was all wrong...

And his story brought me back to 14 Feb 1999, when i was sitting beside my late grandfather, on the day of his passing. It is still fresh in my mind when we went back to JB that day, after receiving a phone call from my auntie...My late Atok Mok actually told me that he was supposed to had his time's-up that morning but he just felt that he needed to see all of us and for a moment there, we thought he was ok and for that litlte moment i really thought he's going to survive a litle longer.

But he was right, his final wish was only to meet with all of us and when everybody were there, that was when it happened.... I was sitting at his left-just right beside his head whispering syahadah as close as i could to his ear continously until an ustaz told me to just whisper "Allah" and i did that..., i dont remember how but somehow we just knew that the time was finally there for him to go forever....Until his final breathe , i was just at his ear trying my best to stay composed and god knows I just cant bring myself to look at his face when he took that final breathe......

That was the saddest moment of my life....i was raised by my grandparents until I was 7 and he loves me so dearly, i just knew...and when everything or everybody else go against me ..he was someone, i can just fall back on.....

You know the feeling when you got your first child...and you felt like he is the cutest baby in the whole world and you felt like sharing it with the world...and I shared that with my Atok...he was the only person i posted Afi's picture to back then....

God I love him....Al Fatihah! Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmatNya..