My 38th Birthday--saying it OUT LOUD

Finally the birthday is over...phew....birthday is annual reminder about those numbers kan? when we were in our teens---we were glad that yeahhhh uni years---
then in the twenties---yeahhh uni is over--mine was like --yeahhh kahwin....i own a man, i produce babies--
then thirties--early thirties--yeah...career boost-
then suddenly came this late thirties stage---and we woke up "WHAT I AM GETTING TO 40??????????????"
oh god...when did I went through those years???????
buat buat bodoh cam tak paham tak sedar kediri kan??????

My dear Aunty Ana--laughing all the way, wishing me and she cant even talked---"Liz, bila masa kau tetiba dah dekat 40 ni" and I still remember she taught me one, two, three--and how i look up to her--i thought she was amazing to teach me english when everybody else talked Javanese back in my kampung Ulu Tiram.

My best friend during secondary school Karen..."Nas, the number increased but we are still the same person inside,right?"--that is so true--wiser insyallah...know what she told me she always remind her sons (yes--she has 3 sons-afraid to try again as she looks at me as reference)
"Daddy is math expert (lecturer in USM on maths) and my best friend is a add maths genius-so you guys have to do good in maths"--
- i was like god , i do have a role there in her family...and i am flattered....
by the way, not really a genius but i got 3 for Add Maths in SPM--kira boleh lah ha..ha..ha....but Kay, you should know that i am all "kaput" up there ha..ha..ha..

Then come my dearest Ejin with "it's only numbers" and i repeat it in my head,
"it is only number...it is only a number..."

So...what is it with this numbers? Does it really bother me that much?
The truth is....................I dont really remember about age in my day to day life--who does? there are too many things to do and to think about --the number is so insignificant.

...then came the... however......... from time to time i do stop a moment and think...
i could have passed the longer part of my life....
my dad told me, hayat Rasulullah 63 tahun...if we can live longer than that is a bonus, but take "his" as reference on our living.
My main concern is about myself being a muslim...what if i just drop dead, what do i bring with me in seeing my Creator... that scares me the most and chilled me to the bone....

Secondly....my life insyallah has been almost perfect--there were ups and downs all along, but the up came after the downturn so even given the cahnce i wont change anything-- i become who i am today from all the downs i went through previously---would i ask for more perfection --i dont think so---but "Apakah manusia itu mengira bahwa mereka dibiarkan(saja) mengatakan :"kami telah beriman", sedang mereka tidak diuji lagi"--That UJIAN part always linger in my mind...I hope i am capable to handle anything that come wisely..

Thirdly...everytime, i sit quietly and look at my children...i wonder if i have done the right things so far in raising them....with all my heart , my wish is for them to grow up being a good person untuk dunia dan akhirat...

And forthly....WRINKLES....that is what you guys want to read right??? u all are so obvious lah...see, you are the reasons i am me tau!!! GOSH!!!
of course la...being woman kan...just risau manja manja if I will still be beautiful in "love of my life"'s eyes...-- itu aje-- mata orang lain--i dont care shit!! ..but i know he loves me for the person in me .....yang ada masa agak sewel dari biasa---ada masa megun---ada masa gelak bagai nak gila....kan???????????????????????? ---Thank you for putting up with me

So that's all....about my birthday dilemma....ha..ha..ha...ramai yg tanya apa i got for my birthday present from you know who lah.....--girls talk kan--biasalah...and the answer is....NOTHING!!...resah akak nak jawap tau...

i have my boys synchronously sang me "happy birthday"..
i have my dear hubby text me "happy birthday" at midnite--he was at the reban--
and we had our family dinner outside..............
I am good....it's US...feeling all blessed and loved.....and all contented!

Thank you for all the wishes..............they made my day lebih ceria dari biasa :)