A Quick Confession

Hi korang rasa cam lama sgt tak buat any posting here...the truth is i was not in a good mood, kejap ok kejap down...attending to baby 24-7 is a tough job-am not complaining but i am human --workload is tremendous--it looks like there's no end to it---the company wont need me if the work ends,kan??? LOL!

From Dec until now,

(1)I have undergo an operation ,

(2)been working through out my maternity-seriously.. the only break i had was when i was hospitalised for 3days --and that continues until today--not a single day leave--maybe a day or so but definitely less than 3 days,

(3) i am confined in this town named "kuantan"

and for the past 1 month and a half,

(4) sleepless nites--the longest interval is 3 hours, shortest is 1.5hour--that's how often baby boys feed at nite

(5) at times, i feel like i am being shut away from the world............

All in all...i am exhausted. Physically and emotionally , i am just tired...To think about it, I have a feeling that is how "meroyan" came about..it is not about hantu or sampukan entah apa apa--it's purely exhaustion--we are just human, who are we kidding?

In the spirit to be a good mother, a nice wife, a dedicated worker--women tend to swallow everything--it is tough being a woman! We cant just pack and say, "guys , i need a break- see u in a week time" --- we just cant do that, can we? why???? i dont know... I do feel bad having this sort of feeling, feel like i am a wicked mother..bad mom....

So..one of my medications to heal my inner self is shopping--frankly there's nothing to shop in Kuantan--(sorry Kuantanese)-- and that's worsen my emotion...However, I just need to heal myself and make myself feel that i am worthful (after feeling wicked etc etc) so that was what i did 2 weeks ago...i spent..

1) Bought myself 5 tudungs from Ariani...2 pieces of 2-layer chiffon, 2 pieces of tudung syria and 1 tudung tiara

2) Bought "A Doctor in the House" and 3 series from Tony Parson

3) a pair of Spectacles--can u see the initial D-that what attracts me--sib baik ada designer spec kat Kuantan kalau tak mmg aku muntah tengah bandar! Jahat kan? Memang kadang2 the evil inside me keluar ....

It did boast my spirit quite a bit---rewards to myself--for the little cutie I brought to this world (ni muka nak tidur sangat mat aariz)

and for the past 3 months which has been challenging to me.

Having said all that...I am thankful for my husband who shares the duty and I am thankful for Bibik who takes up all the house chores..........

May Allah bless me and all the women on this planet earth!